What If You Already Had What You Were Seeking

May 24, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Recently I was reading a book that I thought was going to give me ideas to be more productive in my business. I was super excited; I can always use new ideas! Well, it wasn’t at all what I expected. I began to feel a bit dismayed and thought “I don’t like this” – but decided to finish it, because I know that everything happens for a reason and gems appear often out of nowhere. I was interested in seeing what my gem would be. About two pages until the end I realized what the gem was – this book was telling me why I was already productive! How cool is that?

What a revelation! Here I had been looking for answers and solutions and — guess what — I already had them. I gained a new understanding of how I am productive and, boy, with that awareness I saw myself differently. I believe in the statement “When you change your perspective, things change”. Wayne Dwyer is famous for saying “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” I had been thinking I needed more answers, more solutions, more knowledge, and more whatever I could get externally to help me be more, do more and learn more… when this book sent me the message I already have all that I was seeking.

How enlightening and freeing! Since one of my values is freedom, this was a joy to discover.

This got me to thinking: how often in our lives might we discount ourselves, another person, or a situation and just blow it off and not even give it a chance? Oh, I know what the answer is — it’s more times than not! I know this because I’ve done it, my family, friends and clients have done (and are still doing) it. So let me ask you this, where might you (and perhaps those around you) benefit from a change in perspective? Who could benefit from you looking at them differently?

Now, I have had a lot of coaching and I know that the benefit is in having an objective party see what I might not be seeing, challenge what I might not be willing to challenge, and to support my forward movement. Coaches help you see your blind spot and to encourage you to step out from behind it, to flourish, to grow and to fit into being you. For me, it is so helpful to see a side of myself that I didn’t see before.

My advice for you is to stop for a moment and look around you with fresh eyes. Where do you already have the information, the knowledge, and the know-how, but haven’t seen it to be able to take advantage of it for yourself? Or maybe you discovered a big revelation, like me, and are a scared to go forward and would like some support. I encourage you to reach out to a friend, colleague or a coach to help you reach outside your box. Getting that support is all that is standing in your way!

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Are You Stepping into Growth?

May 10, 2012 By Leave a Comment

It was the early morning hours of March 31, when suddenly, the house was shaking, the wind was howling, and all was dark. Electricity was off. Cell phone was dead, and of course, no computer either.

I found my portable radio and listened to the tornado warning. Intuitively, I knew where in the house to go, but I couldn’t tell how close the weather system was to my house and neighborhood. I don’t live in a tornado area, so this was highly unusual. Luckily, though close, it did not affect my area directly, but the noise and the wind were quite scary. Then I thought how lucky I was because there was a warning. Immediately I wondered, what did I learn from this????

I learned that FEAR helped me step into Growth! Fear gave me the courage to grow into a more self-assured version of me. To take charge even in the worst of situations, and to know, that no matter what, I’d be moving forward and never to look back.

So you see, Fear in itself was my warning system.

With Growth sometimes comes pain. It is all part of the evolution process, and we have to be valiant enough to face it, embrace it, and wear it like a pair of leather gloves, allowing it to fit just beautifully.

So tell me, how do you step into Growth?

CONSIDER:

  • Are you open to new adventures, possibilities and circumstances?
  • Do you look to make new friends, new contacts, new partners?
  • In your business, do you go out of your way to prospect on a fairly consistent basis, and…..do you cultivate your already existing relationships?
  • Do you value what you have?
  • Do you hunger to learn something new every day, no matter how big or small?

OPTIONS:

  • Look to meet new people that really appeal to you.
  • Be sure to meet people that are people magnets.
  • Those that attract amazing people into their lives.
  • And those, who know how to have fun while stepping into their greatness by knowing How to Step in their own Growth.
  • Those that treasure fears because they know that’s how they find the courage to move forward and step into growth.
  • Be sure to be strategic about the new people you meet.
  • Be sure they are a lot smarter than you are. This is your Learning Evolution and Revolution. It’s juicy, it’s yummy, and you deserve it.

ACTION PLAN:

  • Be a human connector. Find people that you like and connect them to others who can be mutually beneficial for each other, you excluded.
  • Enjoy the process. Growth is a welcome side to our divine humanity. Embrace it with joy.
  • Put yourself out there, go out on a limb, and connect with people you don’t yet know, but would like to know. All this is part of stepping into Growth. It’s okay to be fearful, but think of what you’ll gain.
  • Remember that: “Courage is fear that has said its prayers” (A.U.)
  • Get outside your physical box, and take your chances.
  • Once you do all of the above, it will feel like second nature to you and you will be on your way to making amazing connections, growing your business, while cultivating your personal attributes to let your greatness shine. After all, that’s what you are taking with you….and think of how you would want to be remembered.

So a little fear, a little courage, a whole lot of determination, and a great amount of joy in connecting with the unknown is all it takes at times, to have an amazing life, with all the right people in it.

So tell me, I want to know: How do you Step into Your Own Growth?

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Fear, What’s It Got To Do With Anything?

April 26, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Fear – I know it well. It has been a part of my life since… well, since I can remember! Sometimes it has served me and other times not. So what’s it got to do with anything?

For the most part, I have come to discover that it really doesn’t have to do with much at all when you ultimately realize what it is. Fear is our mind creating stories, situations, and scenarios that hold us back. Now, don’t get me wrong, there is real fear – like if someone is chasing you down a dark alley, that’s real and is truly frightening. But let’s say that you wanted to leave your job but stayed because you were fearful that you might not get another one or that you wanted to lose weight but were fearful that your loved ones wouldn’t support you. See, fear – as we humans have come accustomed to feeling it — really is just a stumbling block to being what you want, having what you want and doing what you want. Fear is an excuse.

Did I get your attention? I hope so, because I really want you to stand up and say “I will not allow fear to rule my life and keep me in limbo.” I was in limbo for many years. Although I still feel fear when I’m about to do something new – like when I left my secure, well-paying job (that I hated by the way) and embarked on a new career — now I ask myself, “So what’s fear got to do with this anyway?” The answer is always because I made up some story about what may happen and what I might be leaving behind. I focus on how lousy I believe my experience is going to be without knowing for a fact how it will turn out. So no wonder I get fearful!

How many times do you do that? I know I was doing it way too much – even down to trying a new restaurant because I was afraid it would not be good. Then I realized my fear was just a story I made up in my head; so I changed the story and tried the new restaurant… and I love it! It showed me that by having a positive approach and outlook, I give myself the opportunity to have a wonderful and successful experience. So no longer am I stuck doing the same things, feeling the same ways and being miserable. The gift is that I experience so much joy on a daily basis, I have fun all the time, and I have fantastic adventures that I wouldn’t have had if I stayed in my fear zone!

I’m here to tell you that fear has NOTHING to do with it – you do! As Eleanor Roosevelt said: “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.” Again, I can tell you that this statement is so very true! And once you do it, you will be so amazed at the results – sometimes you even get something you never imagined.

How will you go out and get what you want now that you know that fear doesn’t have to control you? What is one fear you will face in the next week to move you forward? Share your fears and how you’ll change those ‘stories’; I’d love to hear them!

Filed Under: Reaching Goals, Self Improvement Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Are You Spring Training?

April 19, 2012 By Leave a Comment

It happens to all of us. We have been hibernating during the Winter, and all of the sudden Spring is upon us, at which point we find out, we are simply “out of shape” not to mention hungry, thirsty and in need of much-wanted nourishment. And it is not just about the body, but the mind and emotions tag right along with it, as well as the “I” word…(shhhhh…Intuition!) – Such a marvelous word, amazing gift, wonderful companion, and yet, so many of us tend to ignore its power, usefulness, and all together, GPS guidance system that takes us places we never knew existed; especially, when we come out of hibernation…no matter the season. Do you agree?

Mystery builds when we don’t know where higher guidance is coming from and yet, it simplifies itself when we ask for clarity and as if by magic, clarity appears, to be the guiding light to our path to development and best lives ever.

This is all part of you being in spring training. You need to learn how to be fit in all areas of your life, so that you can be ready to tackle what’s yet to come. Hibernation is easy, coming into Spring needs training. Let’s get ready, shall we?

CONSIDER:

  • Do you feel like you’ve been on ICE way too long?
  • Are you hungry for a new way of life?
  • Are you ready for a new of being?
  • Do you have a support system?
  • Are the people in your life ready to be there for you NOW?

OPTIONS:

  • Choose new beginnings. (The past is PAST.)
  • If your phone rings and the PAST is calling, tell them to go to voice mail, you’re sure there’s nothing new for them to say.
  • Be picky who you spend your time with, as they could be joining you in your next hibernation!
  • Your time is NOW, not tomorrow.
  • Exercise…your right to move, to think, to speak, to gather, and to think out-loud.
  • LAUGH! – Uncle Albert in Mary Poppins wisely tells us to do so. “The more I laugh, the more I feel with glee, the more the glee, the more I’m a merrier me.” (Mary Poppins – 1964)
  • Spring will spark your creativity. Give it a try. This is where you can really begin to grow, nurture and display your greatness.
  • Be happy that you are who you are, and not somebody else’s version of yourself.
  • Strategize. These are your most fertile months to forward-think into how your future will look like.

ACTION PLAN:

  • Always know where you’re going. Get a coach or mentor to help you design your future now.
  • Lack of clarity is lack of light. No one can live in the dark for long. Find a way to turn on the switch.
  • Identify those who can help.
  • Ask them to join you.
  • Have a steady income, even if in a “trickled-down” kind of way. You can start something new but NEVER by utilizing your back- up financial income or cash reserve.
  • Know that what you have to offer is of great benefit to others.
  • Relish in your greatness.
Filed Under: Self Improvement Tagged With: ,

How’s It Going So Far?

April 12, 2012 By Leave a Comment

It’s officially springtime and while many people use January 1 as a date to spur them into action, I find Spring is when my brain really kicks into gear and I get down to business.

In order for me to get myself moving I first need to set the stage and clear away the winter cobwebs with a good spring cleaning. What I’ve noticed is that I tend to do the same things to help my business and life grow as I do in the garden.

Here are four things that you can do this spring for your business, life and garden to make them thrive.

    1. Clean up the debris. First you have to set the stage. In your garden you get rid of the branches that fell during storms, leaves that came down after the last raking and the shells from the acorns that the squirrels munched on during the winter. Now is also a great time to take a look at your desk, workspace and to-do list and get rid of the junk. Ask yourself if the things you have around you are things that will help your business thrive or if they are things they just ended up there?
    2. Prepare for new growth. You break up the earth and spread fertilizer in the garden. Now is also the time to prepare your workspace, mind and calendar. Are there programs that you want to invest in to help you grow? Are there things that you are in the middle of that you want to wrap up so that you are ready to move on? Are the things you are doing and have around you fostering creativity or stifling it?
  1. See what’s growing. You check to make sure that your plants have survived the winter and that you still like what you have growing. Now is the time to look around and make sure that the projects that you have lined up still make sense for you. Was the idea a good one when it was planted? Is it still a good idea? Is it time to let it go? Is it time to give it all you’ve got to make it flourish?
  2. Decide what you want to grow and see if it fits. None of us have endless space, and even if you do have room, the space doesn’t always suit the things you want to grow there. So, while you look over the things that you want to do, see if they fit into your plan. Do you have the time, space and environment you need to devote to these projects to make them grow? Does it make sense for you to spend your time and energy on them?

When you give your calendar, to-do list and things a good spring cleaning you will set yourself up for a business and a life that thrives.

But there’s one more piece … do you have the help you need? My garden will not look the way I want it to without someone to help me mow the lawn, move rocks and keep up the beds. My business would not function the way I want it to if I don’t get the help I need there too. Some of the help I use is a coach, a support network, equipment and training in skills that I may be lacking or want to brush up on.

What help do you need to make your business and life run better? What skills do you want to learn or sharpen? Go ahead and share your thoughts below.

Filed Under: Business Building Tips, Productivity, Self Improvement Tagged With: , , , ,

Who Said Faith Was Easy?

April 5, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Faith. I like this word. It also means confidence, trust and assurance. For me, all of those words evoke a powerful feeling. Yet many of us (yes, me included) often do not have enough faith in ourselves to let go and reach for what we want…what we really want.

For many of my clients it is because they do not feel confident in themselves. They aren’t sure, they want to make the ‘right’ decisions, they don’t want to say no, or they don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. I could go on, but I won’t because I think you get it. Therefore many stay stuck, unhappy, unfulfilled and oftentimes depressed by their lives rather than uplifted and living the life of their dreams.

Sure, there are things going on in their lives that they believe they have to deal with or tolerate and live with. Yet, what they eventually come to realize is that those are stories they told themselves for one reason or another to justify their unwillingness to change. Often it leads back to the fact that they didn’t have the faith in themselves to stand up and say “I am not going to live like this anymore!” So what happens? They learn to have faith in themselves and also in others. They discover that they don’t have to suffer and they can be happy. That realize they are the leaders of their lives and when they decide to take steps — even just one small step — to get what they want, they find faith in themselves. It’s freeing for them and opens up a whole new life!

Once my clients find the faith in themselves to allow in the confidence, trust and assurance to shine, they never go back to their old ways of being. The beauty is that once you have faith and allow yourself to let go and reach for what you want, you usually get it and so much more! Sometimes, you don’t even know what you want and you end up with something even better than you expected!

There is a saying “jump and the net will appear”. Yes, that takes a lot of faith, doesn’t it? You’re probably thinking, “If only it were that easy, I would have jumped years ago.” Well, those years have passed, and so too have opportunities and experiences that you won’t be able to get back. Stop that cycle right now. If you are still feeling the fear, I encourage you to start small, just a small jump – I’ll even do it with you. Start by telling yourself that no longer will you be held back by anything and that you will have the faith in yourself to jump into living the life you want!

What are you going to do this week that requires faith in yourself? Let me know below, I’d love to hear it!

Filed Under: Self Improvement, Self Worth Tagged With: , , , , ,

Are You Loving Your New Attitude?

March 29, 2012 By Leave a Comment

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, is that one size does not fit all — and I don’t mean clothes-wise, I mean people-wise. We get into new relationships with certain expectations only to be disappointed (some times). Why? Because ONE size doesn’t fit all. Not one person fulfills all your needs, not one child will be the “be all” for you, and at times not all parents will be there when you need them. Life happens.

And yet, as individuals, we have powers beyond our own comprehension. Sometimes we don’t use them simply because…we don’t even know they exist, nor see that those powers are there for us to use as we see fit. If only we could see them and have the know-how to use them.

That’s why it is so important to have a new attitude in life and use it! And while at it…LOVE it! This is one of the most fundamental ways of moving ahead towards achievement and success.

Is it easy? Hell, no. Is it attainable? You bet it is. It is all about what you want, when you want it, and how you want to accomplish it. And most importantly, WHY you want to reach it. Without the WHY, not much will happen. Which brings me back to: One size DOES NOT fit all!

CONSIDER:

  • Are you different?
  • If so, how?
  • Is it bravery or is it convenience?
  • Can you be loud enough about what you want?
  • Are you open to changes?

OPTIONS:

  • You can choose to stay the same. (Really???!!!)
  • You can choose the middle of the road.
  • You can decide to add life to your years.
  • You can decide to add years to your life!
  • You can decide that one size does NOT fit all!

POINTS TO PONDER:

  • A life well-lived is the icing on the cake.
  • An attitude adjustment is a welcome relief.
  • When no one is looking, you share your broadest smile.
  • An alternative size fits you like a glove.
  • Happiness is…whatever you want to make it.

ACTION PLAN:

  • Do something outrageous.
  • Document it.
  • Make it clear this is for now, and not just for posterity.
  • Consider what one thing you would do now that you would NEVER leave for later? Then, DO IT!
  • Enjoy every second of it, and know in your heart that one size does not fit all. This is your time to enjoy your new attitude adjustment.
Filed Under: Self Improvement Tagged With: ,

Is Your Spelling a Pet Peeve, Part 2

March 27, 2012 By 1 Comment

I recently began reading a book about personal branding and its relation to how you look and behave. My thoughts — because I enjoy writing and it’s a service I provide to several clients — jumped directly to how your personal branding is also affected by how you present yourself on paper.

Anyone who reads a blog, e-newsletter, website or sales copy (along with thousands of other materials) is going to form an opinion of the author in addition to, and outside of, the topic being discussed. If multiple typos are seen, the reader will probably become somewhat distracted and may even begin to question the author’s credibility. Think about it, you probably do this yourself!

So if YOU are the author in question, isn’t it important to put in a good solid effort to produce material that is free of silly mistakes that others might interpret as pet peeves? I think so!

In order to help YOU improve your writing with some of those pesky words that people tend to confuse, below is a list of tips on how to tell them apart. I’ll admit that this list contains some that I struggle with, too.

Advice vs. advise

I know, I know, this is a tricky one but I have a super simple way to tell them apart besides the C and the S.

Advice is a noun meaning to make a recommendation or give a suggestion about something. She wanted my advice on how to pill a cat.

Advise, however, is a transitive verb meaning to recommend or inform. I was advised not to feed the dog 12 hours prior to surgery.

The difference, to me, is in the sound of the words, how they are pronounced in addition to the spelling. In my head, I rhyme “vice” with “mice” and based on whether or not it works, I know which is the correct spelling.

Affect vs. effect

Affect means to influence somebody or something. If I can use the word “influence” then I know this is the spelling I need to use. How will the tornado affect the local economy?

Effect has several meanings: a result or giving an impression. Again, I use the E in result to connect me to the correct spelling. The overall effect of her makeover was remarkable. Another meaning is being in force, such as The new rules don’t go into effect until next week.

Then vs. than

Then refers to a specific time, in addition to or therefore. Life was easier back then or I have to walk the dogs, then I can cook dinner.

Than exists to introduce a comparison. As you are saying the word in your head, listen for the subtle difference in the pronunciation. There’s more of an A sound in this version and that should help you with the spelling. I’d rather be hiking than sitting in an office.

Bare vs. bear

Bare means naked, basic or minimum. They only provided the bare essentials.

Bear means several things; most common being the big furry animal, but it also means a difficult thing to endure or to tolerate. In theory, if the definition of your word doesn’t relate to the first description, this second spelling is probably the right one. I can’t bear to see photos of starving and neglected animals.

Council vs. counsel

Council is a noun and means a group of people elected to run local affairs. They’re holding a council meeting tomorrow afternoon.

Counsel has several definitions ranging from a court lawyer to someone who gives advice or the act of giving advice. The key to telling the difference between the two words rests in the S-E-L. For me, I associate the SEL with “sell” which is an act of doing something, which translates to the act of giving advice and something which all lawyers do. I will seek his counsel before making a decision.

Stationary vs. stationery

Stationary is an adjective meaning not moving or staying in one place. The tip here is to associate the A at the end of the word with the A in adjective or stay. He rides the stationary bicycle every morning.

Stationery is a noun and means things used for writing like paper and envelopes. In this instance, I associate the E at the end of the word with the E in envelopes. I enjoy writing personal notes on beautifully embroidered stationery.

Principal vs. principle

Principal as noun means most important person or school administrator and as an adjective means primary. This time I immediately focus on the spelling of the second half and play this sentence in my head My school principal was always my pal. And to further carry the meaning, I continue the sentence with … and was the principal reason I went into teaching.

Principle, on the other hand, means ethical standard. This is one of those words where if the above tip doesn’t work, then this must be the correct spelling. As a matter of principle, I recycle everything I can.

Lose vs. loose vs. loss

Lose means to have something taken away or have it misplaced. It may be helpful to simply think to yourself “Is it lost?” and connect the two spellings. You will lose your spot in line if you walk away.

Loss is the fact of no longer having something or reduction. Weight loss can be a life-long battle.

Loose means not firmly attached or free. My association for this spelling always goes back to the 1978 Clint Eastwood movie “Every Which Way But Loose” and it helps. For you, maybe consider the spelling of loose having two O’s and free having two E’s. The loose step makes me stumble every time.

So there you have it! A whole second cheat-sheet of commonly misspelled and confused words that you can keep handy for quick reference… unless you memorize some of the tips I shared.

If you happen to be a writer but lack the confidence to know that you’re putting out professional and intelligent-sounding materials to your blog, newsletter or emails, consider partnering with a copy editor or proofreader like me to become your sounding board. It’ll give you peace of mind and increase your credibility in the eyes of your audience.

Filed Under: Self Improvement Tagged With:

Are Your To-Dos Overflowing?

March 20, 2012 By Leave a Comment

What’s a woman to do? I mean really?

It might seem like a very simple thing, but one of the things I find increasingly difficult to manage is my to-do list. Like many of you, my to-do list will include things I need to do for my business, for my clients, my team members, committees, as well as those personal to-dos for my family and me personally. I’m one of those that work best by actually writing my to-dos down in my planner so I can check them off – BUT, I also like to be able to see them all in an online environment. In my search for the ultimate online to-do list, I came across https://workflowy.com, an amazingly easy way to create and segment your to-do items in an outline format. It might just be the list I’ve been looking for … and to make it even more enticing, it’s free!

In WorkFlowy’s own words “WorkFlowy is an organizational tool that makes life easier. It can help you organize personal to-dos, collaborate on large team projects, take notes, write research papers, keep a journal, plan a wedding, and much more.” With WorkFlowy, you can create an entire list of to-dos just like you would create an outline, segmented by subject or by whether it’s for your business, clients, personal, etc., and can be expanded or collapsed based on that criteria. Each to-do within each segment can also easily be added to and/or marked as done. Very simple, but when you see it in action, it’s awesome because it’s a very visually organized system that lets you see what needs to be done, when and where in a nutshell. It’s a little difficult to try to explain exactly how WorkFlowy works, so you’ll have to trust me on this one. Just go to https//workflowy.com, open up your free account and check it out. There’s a video on the home page called WorkFlowy in 45 seconds. The video will show you how it works so much better than I could ever explain. Once you start using the system, you’ll understand why they call it WorkFlowy!

Filed Under: Business Building Tips, Productivity, Self Improvement Tagged With: , , ,

To Soar: Relax, You are Already Perfect

March 6, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Are you familiar with the saying “Relax, you are already perfect”? It’s a very freeing statement. At least, I think it is. How about you? I’m a former perfectionist; I never did anything without fear of not doing it right. I never stood out for fear of doing it wrong. I never tried anything for fear of failing. What this left me with was a stale, boring and unsatisfying life.

I spent so much of my life trying to be someone else, trying to please others, and trying to make others happy – which I know I did. Yet, I never tried to make myself happy. I was just plain afraid that they wouldn’t like me if I wasn’t perfect. The thing about being someone else is, well, you aren’t! You are you. Until you take that step to love yourself and be you in your full glory, you’ll be just like I was, stuck and stranded on the ground. If you want to soar, it is important for you to relax and know that you are already perfect being you.

Now, I’m not going to tell you this was an easy journey or that I’ve mastered it. But what I can tell you is that once I freed myself from the bonds I had imposed on my life, I began to soar. My life became everything I was wanting! It is joyful instead of unhappy. It is effortless instead of difficult. I have ease instead of stress. Most of all, I now love my life and participate fully in it rather than trudging through yet another day of the same dull, boring existence.

We are all unique and specially made… and we need to embrace it. Once we begin to do this, we soar. You are you and I am me, and we come together to bring joy, happiness and fulfillment to each other and the world. The subtle beauty of this is that we flourish both independently and together.

So the next time you think you have to be perfect — stop, go to the mirror, smile, and say “I am unique and special and perfect just the way I am now.” This will help you remember that right now, this very moment, you are able to soar to your greatest self, reach your highest goals and begin to free yourself from your self-imposed perfectionism. Trust me; it’s one of the best gifts you can gift to yourself!

Are you a perfectionist trying to change your ways? Share your thoughts below!

Filed Under: Self Improvement Tagged With: , ,
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